


Pulse

by Left4Shade-Due (ShadeDuelist)



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-11
Updated: 2012-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 02:59:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeDuelist/pseuds/Left4Shade-Due
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short story about Ellis musing on the one thing that he loves most about Nick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ellislash](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ellislash).



> 'You know which word I like? 'pulse' - it's such a wonderful word...'
> 
> These fateful words were spoken by Ellislash, aka Commander CatEars (Catty), today in a conversation over Steam. Needless to say that suddenly, inspiration struck, and this is the result. Short but hopefully sweet.

Ellis loved feeling Nick’s heartbeat under his fingertips.

It had started out when they were still running for their lives – in those tight spots when the con man was so bloodied up by a Tank or a Hunter that it was hard to tell if he was still alive, and a quick search for the man’s pulse meant the difference between a bottle of painkillers or a quick shock with the defibrillator he carried.  Then, later, when the nights became cold, it became something he drew energy from – laying in the darkness, with Rochelle’s head propped against his shoulder and the vestiges of nightmares only minimally worse than the reality they lived through still gripping his mind, it soothed him to feel Nick’s steady pulse.  It showed him there was still something they hadn’t lost yet, still something to hold onto.

And he noticed his own heart raced or slowed to match that steady flicker of life he felt in Nick.  His friend.  And then, later, his lover.  And even later, his love.

At first, Nick had been just his friend – they’d helped each other up when they fell, they’d kept each other going when things got hard, they’d cheered the other up any way they could.  At night, they’d keep each other awake and alert during the hours they were supposed to keep watch, and during the day, they did the same while running.  They shared food, blankets, warmth, joy and sadness.

Then, one night in the swamp, they shared more than just warmth and blankets.  They shared each other.  It started with an innocent hug, a moment of comfort after a particularly harrowing trek through a devastated village, but it turned into Ellis stifling his cries by biting his knuckles as Nick thrust into him, deeply and slowly, bent low over him and whispering into his ears in that same steady rhythm _“I love you, I love you, oh Ellis, I love you”_ … and their heartbeats synced up like clockwork as the tension inside of them unwound, leaving them panting and sated, their hearts beating as if powered by one energy.  And that night, without saying a word, Nick let him fall asleep with his ear against his bare chest, snuggled up in their underwear underneath a blanket for modesty’s sake.

Nick’s heartbeat that night had been in perfect harmony with his own.

From that day onward, whenever they had to keep guard in the night, they’d find ways to be intimate – whether it was cuddling or actually making love – and when they held each other, Ellis could feel their heartbeats steadily pacing toward the other’s, until they were in sync again and their hearts beat like one.  It was at times like that, when their bodies became aligned like clockwork, their hearts beating strongly in the same rhythm that connected them, that the zombies around them became secondary to the unity they felt.  They were each other’s island.

The others, Coach and Rochelle, didn’t much like what was happening between them.  They tried to tell Nick to stay away, but Ellis wouldn’t let them keep them apart.  They tried to tell Ellis that Nick was just using him for satisfying his lust, but he didn’t believe them.

Nick’s heart told him another story.

Then, suddenly, rescue finally came.  One minute they were still running from Hunters and Smokers and Tanks and everything, and the next they were sitting inside a helicopter flying away from New Orleans, smoke causing them to tear up – no, it certainly wasn’t the relief they felt at being rescued, nor was it the overwhelming joy for finally, finally being able to relax and not worry about dying any second.  He’d hugged Coach, hugged Rochelle tightly, and hugged Nick as if his life depended on it, and he felt Nick’s heartbeat was just as high as his own – this time their hearts didn’t sync up, but they were equally high, and every beat of his heart was followed by a beat of Nick’s which was in time followed by one of his own again, like a fast-paced, energetic dance, and he didn’t remember kissing Nick until the pilot’s laugh and his telling them to save their joy until after decontamination.

The first few days in the refugee camp had been like a whirlwind of tests, prodding, finding lost family members and friends, and settling into a life without fear again.  The first few nights, especially, had been harrowing, but slowly the nightmares had gone away.  Slowly the need to sleep lightly had faded from his mind – their mind – and became replaced with a regular, deep, dreamless sleep.

The only thing that didn’t change was that feeling of unity every night as he lay next to Nick, arms and legs entangled and hearts beating slowly and steadily in perfect unison, like the pulse of the universe was passing through them.

There were moments, both in the refugee camp and later, when they moved to a small ‘safetown’ on the outskirts of what used to be Savannah and where they met a lot of people from a life long past again… moments when tears were stinging in his eyes, when his throat was sore and his fists aching from rage, when his mind felt so unbalanced that he feared the Infection and the things he’d been forced to do had finally made him go insane.  Moments, for example, like that time when he told his mother of the true nature of his relationship with Nick.  Moments like that time when Nick got threatened by Keith and he had to step in between them, telling his lifelong friend to back off or else.  Moments like the time when he came outside in the morning to find his truck covered in black paint spelling so many swearwords he could’ve sworn even Nick didn’t know them all.  And at all of those moments, Nick had taken his hand and placed it on his chest, gently covered by one of his own hands, and that heartbeat had soothed him again.

Nick’s heartbeat showed him that they could survive anything together.

His mother had cried and cried, but in the end she’d seen that Nick made Ellis happy and she’d warmed up to him.  Keith and Nick had talked extensively and found out they had more in common than they thought.  The paint had always come off again, and after a while the vandals had stopped trying to upset them.  Nick had been his stability, his dependable lover, his everything.  Not only through the Infection, but through all that life threw in their path.

And life had led them there, to that bed.  It had been wonderful at first but it was now a mess of crumpled sheets and pillows tossed haphazardly every which way, in the center of which he and Nick lay, naked and sweating, catching their breaths and looking at each other lovingly.  The various parts of their fancy wardrobe were scattered across the room, an empty bottle of champagne – the expensive French pre-apocalypse stuff, none of the cheap imitation drink, Ellis remembered Nick having told him – sat on the nightstand along with two glasses, one of which was precariously laying on its side at the edge, but none of that registered to Ellis anymore.  He stretched and snuggled into his lover.

“Mmmm, Nick, ah love yew…”, he whispered into the cool night air, and Nick grinned lazily as he answered.

“…I love you too, Ellis…  God, you’re amazing in every way.”  Nick kissed him again, and Ellis closed his eyes and lost himself in their kiss, allowing Nick to deepen it.  He loved the way their bodies felt like they were custom made for one another, like Nick was made for his hands and lips to explore, like the con man was made to be his – just like it felt like he was made for Nick’s hands and lips, made to be the gambler’s.  “…The one thing I love most about you, though…”, Nick whispered into his ear softly after they parted again, “…is your heart.  Your heart made me fight so often, your heart made me think twice about doing stupid things… feeling that strong southern heartbeat of yours can make me feel at home anywhere…”

“Awh… Nick…”, Ellis whispered back, snuggling into the love of his life again, yawning lightly.  Well, their passionate unison just minutes before had worn him out – and apparently, it was the same for Nick, because the con man drew up the sheets around them and reshuffled the pillows into some semblance of order again, creating a soft cocoon for their two bodies.  Wordlessly, he turned his back to Ellis – just like Ellis wanted, which he knew.  There wasn’t a night they didn’t sleep like that, spooned together snugly, Ellis’ hand nestled over his heart to feel his pulse synced up with his own, Nick’s hand over Ellis’, and Ellis’ heartbeat strong against his back.

The feeling of unity was the same as any other night.

The only difference that night was that their two hands now had matching rings and that they’d meet the morning the next day as husbands for the first time.


End file.
